He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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