man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
