Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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