i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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