i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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