So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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