Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Actions speak louder than pants.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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