it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
