I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
