thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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