im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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