problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Randomize
