Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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