I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
vagina is talking i cant
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
