I swear she didn't look like that last week.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
