if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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