swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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