Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
