There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
This is my gift to your gina
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
