Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
