i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
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