3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
