is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I think my moral compass just broke
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
