My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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