are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
