It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
