p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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