his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
