I think scott just propositioned me for sex
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
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