God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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