So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
