why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
