Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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