I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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