Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize