got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
