Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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