the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
my liver is dry heaving
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
