and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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