I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
