Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
