My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
