The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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