Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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