weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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