Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
