no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
