what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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