omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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