Joe is yelling at the trees again.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
