the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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