very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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