My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
