I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
