I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
