i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
