idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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