fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
