good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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