I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
This beer is not sobering me up at all
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
