with your own penis?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
