so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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