Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Panties = found
Randomize
