Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
